Excellent service is a good place to start if you're an employee who earns tips. A few simple tricks will put you over the edge from average tips to enormous tips.
Ever wonder why you’re busting your tail and earning only half the tips as the person next to you? Do your co-workers seem like they’re making more money, even though they work slower and spend more time slacking off? Maybe they’ve learned a few secrets and tips that will ensure a bigger tip nearly every time.
Introduce yourself by name. Bonus points if your name is something cutesy or perky. If your name is not cutesy or perky, change it. While you’re at it…
Be cutesy and perky. Chat with guests. Pretend you’re interested in them. Create inside jokes. If this is not part of your personality and you are not willing to fake it, you are in the wrong profession.
Sign the check. If you’re a female, include a doodle like a smiley face or flower. Vomit in the back room out of disgust beforehand if necessary, but keep all appearances of perkiness and charm in front of the guests. (Note: if you are a male, doodles on the check will actually lower your tip, so be careful. And masculine.) Include the words “Thank you” as if the guest has done you a gigantic honor by dining at your table.
Touch people. No, not there. Pervert. A friendly hand placed on the arm or shoulder sometime during service adds a touch of comaradarie that makes patrons think “I’d better give her some money!”
Squat. Next to the table, anytime you’re talking to them. You’ll feel ridiculous the first several times, like you’re about to crawl under the table, particularly if you’re already pretty short. But it works, because as it turns out, people like you better when they can’t see up your nose while they’re eating. Who knew?
Repeat their order. Shows them you’re listening, and helps to fix mix-ups before they occur. (How many times has a customer asked for the chef salad, only to insist later that they’d asked for the caeser salad?) Also, write it down. Some waiters like to show off their impressive brain-power by clasping their hands behind their backs and committing the order to memory, but frankly: 1.) your customers don’t care how smart you are, they just want you to get their order right, 2.) it drives me bat-poo crazy when a waiter does that and then gets my order wrong anyway, which has happened more times than I can count. I’m much more willing to forgive (and tip) someone who writes it down just in case than someone with misplaced arrogance about their mental abilities.
Compliment them. Tell them they’ve made a good choice. When you drop the check, confess that they were a lot of fun to wait on.
Be in medical school. Preferably at Yale. Or, be willing to lie.
Everything else. On top of all this is the basic service; getting the order correct and on time, clearing plates, knowing the menu, etc. But research has shown that patrons are willing to forgive mistakes or long waits if the above tricks are adhered to.
So good luck. And let the earning begin!
