Setting Personal Boundaries
Learn to Say No, Eliminate Time Stealers, and Achieve Personal Goals
Apr 7, 2009
Many people are uncomfortable saying “no” – they think of it as being difficult, uncooperative or unhelpful. Successful people, however, believe saying "no" is often necessary and consider it just as normal as saying "yes." They don't associate saying “no” with any feelings of guilt and typically get over it quite quickly, without spending any time in self-criticism.
One of the reasons successful people consider saying “no” as perfectly acceptable is because they value their time and talents, and are committed to spending both of them wisely. They also believe in devoting themselves only to those projects and goals they consider to be a worthwhile investment.
Time Stealers
Time stealers are activities that literally “steal” time without offering any benefits in return. The list below includes some of the most frequent time stealers, which can be reduced or eliminated starting today.
- Unnecessary non-value adding work. Colleagues can be directed to information they can review, update or print on their own (e.g., self-service systems and databases).
- Urgent information and last-minute work. Most last-minute make-work projects and the stress associated with them could be easily avoided by better work habits and time management skills.
- Redundant emails including special offers, sales information for unnecessary items, jokes, photos, stories, and chain messages asking people to forward them to others.
- Group obligations. Every so often social gatherings, club memberships, and various get-togethers are useful, but sometimes they are not.
- Telemarketing calls. The “do not call list” available in some countries allows people to request that their telephone number is removed from telemarketing lists.
- TV watching. This is a huge time stealer. According to a recent survey conducted by Cisco, Americans watch an average of 3.8 hours a day. If everyone reduced the number of hours they watch TV on a daily basis by 1 hour, they would have an extra 365 hours per year to dedicate to something else. That is over 2 extra weeks per year!
The Value of Time
To make setting boundaries and learning to say “no” less difficult, successful people will often put a monetary value on their time. This makes it easier to appreciate and respect personal time. Lawyers, accountants, and other professional services individuals are very familiar with this practice, as they are used to thinking of their time in terms of chargeable time (e.g., $300/hour for X service provided).
For those who are not familiar with this practice, it helps to start by putting a random value of $40/hour, for example, and seeing how it all stacks up. Saving 365 hours per year translates into a whopping $14,600 per year. Where does it make sense to spend $14,600 worth of personal time: watching TV or doing an activity that would help one get closer to their personal and career goals?
"The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes." (Tony Blair)
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